They can’t sing that…

Occasional Albums Thing 082 - Various Artists “20 Blazing Bullets”

During the 1970’s albums like this were everywhere, issued by labels like Arcade (set up by chartered accountant Laurence Myers who had a number of clients in the music industry), K-Tel (a multinational budget record label) and this one which was issued by Ronco (a US telemarketing brand who set up a UK operation in 1973-ish). These compilations collected together 20 singles by original artists and sold them for a budget price, mainly via the record departments in places like Boots, Woolworths and WH Smith rather than in real record shops.

Trouble with this particular collection is although there are hits on it most of them I don’t even remember ! Many of us will recall things like Neil Sedaka’s “Love Will Keep Us Together”, The Bee Gees “Jive Talkin’”, and Jonathan King’s “Una Paloma Blanca” (!). But who remembers Mac & Katie Kissoon’s “Don’t Do It Baby” (#9 in the UK), "Don't Throw It All Away" by Gary Benson (a top 20 smash), "I Wanna Dance Wit' Choo (Doo Dat Dance)" by Disco Tex & His Sex-O-Lettes (number 6 in the UK) and The Rubettes "Foe-Dee-Oh-Dee" a number 15 hit and utterly forgettable.

The rest is filled out with flops, things like an excruciating “disco” version of the R&B standard “Walking The Dog” by Roger Daltrey (#52 in 1975 apparently), former New Seeker Lyn Paul’s nursery rhyme-ish “It Ought To Sell A Million” (evidently it didn’t) and Gloria Gaynor’s “All I Need Is Your Sweet Lovin’” which climbed to the dizzy heights of #44. I’ve reserved a special mention for everyone’s favourite bigot (look up his racist diatribe at Birmingham Odean in 1976), Eric Clapton. A man who built an entire career ripping off Black American Blues musicians here has the brass balls to release a version of the African-American spiritual “Swing Low Sweet Chariot” which is, frankly, fucking embarrasing cod reggae which someone at the record company should have greeted with a loud chorus of “OI !CLAPTOUT !! NOOOOOO !!!”…trust me you never want to hear it.

So after all that why on earth do I own a copy of this collection ? Well, some of you Slade fans out there might want to pull up a chair as the 20th and final track on here has a little story. In May of 1975 Slade released the single "Thanks For The Memory (Wham Bam Thank You Mam)" (the bracketed part of the title was there to differentiate it from the 1938 song “Thanks For The Memory” made famous when later recorded by Bing Crosby). The single was a quite a departure for Slade being primarily keyboard driven and with a slightly funky feel to it. It came complete with one of Slade’s cheeky-chappie risque lyrics with the second verse featuring the following couplet

Have an athlete on your feet
Have a love smell on your sheet

If you’ve ever paid attention to Slade lyrics you’d know they were oft concerned with a bit of fun with the ladies, crikey just the year before they had a #3 hit with a single titled “The Bangin’ Man”, if it’s subject matter isn’t obvious from the title then Google the lyrics and it soon will be. But it seems that the “love smell on your sheet” bit of "Thanks For The Memory (Wham Bam Thank You Mam)" was all too much for the BBC and they refused to play it. Now, previous single “How Does It Feel ?” had been Slade’s first non top 10 single since 1971, they needed Radio One to play the new single. So what was to be done ? Well, I’ll tell you shall I ?

What was to be done was this, Noddy Holder went back into the studio and replaced the offending lyric the BBC were adamant they would not play with the following

Have an athlete on your feet
Have some honey with your meat

Yeah I know, ridiculous but thus was created what is known amongst Slade fans as the “clean” version of "Thanks For The Memory…”. Most importantly, it placated the prudes at the BBC and after Polydor had pressed up special Promo 7”s Radio One’s jocks were able to play the single, assisting it in reaching number 7 in the UK charts and returning Slade to the top 10. 

However, all this this caused another problem for the humble Slade collector, how do I get my hands on this “clean” version of the song ? Those Promo 7”s now change hands for up to £150 each which is a lot to pay for a single altered line. You can therefore imagine my surprise when I discovered that when Ronco and Polydor had been swapping tapes for the construction of this collection Polydor didn’t send the master tape for the regular 7” single version they sent the “clean” master tape and that is how that (up to) £150 lyrical change can be yours for about £3 if you can find this LP in a bargain bin/charity shop near you.

Happy hunting…

Thanks For The Memory (Wham Bam Thank You Mam) - https://youtu.be/TkLYDPsQJAA?si=E0cM82Xk5MbgDOM6

Thanks For The Memory (Wham Bam Thank You Mam) [Clean version] - https://youtu.be/322upW8mHvc?si=0EiPjByWd86nFwhh